Trading Places
by HirumaKage
Summary: 12 Genin on a mission. A Jutsu backfires badly. New lives to deal with. Please R&R, some NaruHina, other pairings as demanded.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto of course.

Naruto:

Trading Places.

Part the First.

Shikimaru sighed, the situation had managed to become both annoying and serious, but his plan was holding together, so long as his team kept it simple. The objective was deceptively easy, retrieve a package from a courier.

Problem the first the courier was a Sound shinobi chunnin team.

Problem the second that rather than a chunnin team or two from the leaf specially selected to counter the Sounds he had 11 ego maniac, hyperactive or otherwise troublesome genin to deal with them. Oh and himself, battling both the sounds tricks and his own headache. Still his plan was nearly flawless...it would have actually been flawless if he could have divided the teams as he wished...

He glanced at the two other genin following his rapid progress through the forest Hyuuga Neji and Uchiha Sasuke. "What's their progress Neji?"

The Hyuuga prodigy appeared to briefly focus ahead with his active Byakugan. "Team B are still harassing them, Naruto and Kiba are keeping them fleeing at full pace and Shino and Chouji have herded them in the correct direction. If Team C are in position they should be able to intercept them no problem, well, IF they are in position" he smirked. Sasuke took this moment to speak up "Why am I playing rearguard with you two instead of being in the Ambush?"

Shikimaru sighed "Don't be so troublesome, Team C is the bulk of our force, but we need the most powerful here in case they try and double back again. And Sakura and Ino are worse than useless if you are in the vicinity he added silently.

* * *

"KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU" Roared Naruto, and another 30 shadow clones popped into existence. The sound nin Katsu cursed loudly "Doesn't this kid ever get tired, that's the third batch he's made, if we stop again the other five will catch up!" "Just keep moving" hissed Isha, "and keep them off me, if Orochimaru doesn't get this package it'll be our heads" "I don't see why we can't just stop and kill them" thundered Chagtai, "I'll crush them with my Stone Jutsu!"

"Because you won't and there are too many to crush, not to mention those behind us and they seem more chunnin than genin to me" said Isha. It was at this point a brace of Kibas tore through the undergrowth forcing them to veer right.

* * *

Neji reported the current events in clipped tones to Shikimaru.

Perfect, now to make sure. "Come in Team C"

"Hai Chunin-san" answered Sakura.

"Are you in position?"

"Hai, we're in a tree overlooking the clearing they will enter. Hinata can see you all approaching, and they are on course." Reported Sakura.

"Excellent, tell Ino her target is the short one with yellow eyes, he has the package, Lee and Tenten are to engage the giant and Hinata and yourself the skinny fan wielder." Shikimaru instructed.

"Roger! Hinata says you'll reach us in under a minute."

Impressive pondered Shikimaru, it appeared Hinatas Byakugan range exceeded Nejis.

* * *

Alright thought Sakura, everything seemed to be going to plan. At that moment she first perceived the arrival of the sound-nin. "Get ready" she hissed to the others.

At that point the tree exploded.

* * *

Naruto's glee at the enemy ninjas entering the jaws o their trap turned to horror as he saw the fan wielder whip his fan around conjuring up a fierce wind. The small cyclone tore into the ambush tree shredding its branchs, leafs and Leaf Shinobis.They tumbled to the ground and before they could recover the Sounds were upon them. Time to break with the plan he decided. With that he launched himself at Katsu, Isha and Chagtai. All of him.

Katsu was barrelled down by the weight of 10 punching kicking number one loudmouth ninjas as was Isha. Chagtai was less impressed. With a roar of anger he shattered the interlocking of web of Narutos covering him, sending them back into puffs of smoke.

It was at that point that everyone else decided to arrive.

* * *

Shikimaru groaned, this wasn't how it was supposed to happen. But the hadn't the First Hokage said "No plan survives contact with the enemy." Or had it been the Second? Damn he'd be up all night wondering now. But back to the situation at hand. "Ino, hit your target, everyone else dogpile!, keep them contained until Team C recovers."

Shikimaru grimaced as Katsu unleashed a second maelstrom of cutting winds destroying Narutos Kage Bunshins.

Seeing but a single target remaining Chagtai roared in triumph and seized Naruto by the neck.

"No!" howled Lee and Hinata simultaneously and launched themselves at Chagtai. Kiba, Akamaru and Sasuke piled onto Katsu and the giant melee worsened as everyone piled on.

* * *

Ino got shakily to her feet. "Bodyswap no Jutsu!".

Then three things happened almost at once.

Isha gasped at the mass of charka hurtling towards him, "Chaos Storm No Jutsu!" he howled.

Chagtai howled in frustration and hurled Naruto away to better deal with the twin onslaught of Lee and Hinata.

Inos soul form collided with Naruto.

Neji witnessed it all with his Byakugan, Ino's soul self whip towards Isha, Ishas jutsu destabilise Inos jutsu and Naruto colliding with Inos soul, then explode outwards in a wave of red charka.

Then everything went black. For Everybody

* * *

Naruto groaned in pain as he returned to consciousness, he felt dreadful, like the night after a particularly bad batch of ramen. As he struggled to his feet he saw the Katsu struggling to his feet alone, package still in hand. "No-no way" Naruto muttered "KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!"

"UZ

ZI

MA

KI

NARUTO RENDAN!"

"Hah I did it!" yelled Naruto, "That's the future Hokage for you!...why the hell am I so tired?"

with that he lasped into unconciousness.

* * *

Neji shook his head in disbelief, why in gods name had Hinata just performed that dobes daft move, and why was she talking like that?

As he got to his feet his balance seemed off and he felt noticalbly weaker. "That jutsu must have taken a lot out of all of...of..."

He looked down at his body...clad in a short red dress, trembling he checked his hair...bright pink...

"Oh no..."

* * *

To be continued if anyone likes it at all :)

Please R&R.


	2. Trading Places 2: Unfortunate Discovery

Ok chapter 2, thanks for the reviews!

* * *

Shikimaru groaned as he regained consciousness. He sat up quickly and surveyed the scene. Crap the three sound nin were gone, and only Sakura seemed active. Shikimaru gaped in shock, Sakura appeared to be moaning and clutching her chest...then...she jammed her hand down her skirt, screamed and collapsed unconscious. Quickly stuffing a bandage up his nose to stifle the copious flow of blood, Shikimru attempted to banish that extremely potent image from his thought process and began to check on the rest of his troops. All of them seemed unconscious and where they fell save Hinata, she was at the edge of the clearing clutching the package to her chest.

Good on you Hinata thought Shikiamru, didn't think you had that kind of drive. He reached down to retrieve the package and froze. His hand was different, clad in a light purple sleeve and far too small...also his fingernails were pink...bright pink...checking his hair in mounting terror he found a neat bun and floppy blond fringe in place of his Nara clan topknot. "This...this is beyond troublesome" he muttered. He then performed a very similar checklist to the Hyuuga genius. It is to his credit that he avoided fainting, his very feminine scream did manage to wake nearly everyone else.

* * *

Sakura awoke at once, that was Ino screaming, she leapt upright, and instantly felt odd. Her balance was off and she felt...strong, much stronger than normal. Then she saw herself sitting against a tree gently rocking to herself. "Its just a genjutsu...just a genjutsu...Byakugan!, come on work"

Hmmm thought Sakura, that isn't like me at all. Wait, I'm me and I'm here not over there. She looked down at her body...swathed in bandages and covered in a tight green jumpsuit with accompanying orange legwarmers all her advanced analytical mind allowed her to do was realise the full horror of her situation all the faster. She didn't even need to check her head for a bowlcut and a pair of exceptionally bushy eyebrows.

* * *

Hinata sprang to her feet and immediately looked about for her friends, there was Shino and Kiba...but where was Naruto-kun? A feeling of panic began to fill her heart, "Naruto-kun?, NARUTO-KUN?" Ino turned and groaned, "Ino-san, where is Naruto?" she asked anxiously

"Damn" replied "Ino" "I don't need this...is that you Hinata?"

"Wh-what o-of course I'm Hinata, who else could I ever be."

"That's the wrong day to say that" sighed "Ino" she grasped Hinatas forearm and raised it to her sight, it was clad in a very familiar bright orange sleeve. "Naruto hasn't gone anywhere exactly"

Hinata fainted.

* * *

This is going to get more and more troublesome thought Shikimaru as the rest of the genin began to stir. He took a moment to get his rampaging emotions back under control. As he did a chorus of voices raised into the air.

"Oh my god, I'm FAT!"

"BUGS, I have BUGS on me...I have bugs IN ME!!!!"

"My...my look, my weights!"

"This is very, very annoying."

"Where has the chorus gone?"

"Oh my god, I'm SKINNY!"

"Smell all strange now"

Ok focus, focus...remember the objective.

"Okay" yelled Shikimaru "We now have two objectives:

Get this package back to Konoha.

Get back there ourselves as fast as possible.

We're in no condition to fight, we have no idea how long this will last and if those 3 Sound turn around we can't fight them effectively. So lets move!"

"Umm" said "Lee" "You aren't in charge Ino-pig"

"sigh ok add a third objective, obtain name tags, for future reference, I'm your fearless leader."

He received blank looks.

"Ok, compressed for everyone , we've all switched bodies because of Ino's jutsu being scrambled and we need to get home fast."

"How could you possibly figure that out?" squawked "Kiba"

"I'm a genius, lets go...someone grab Hinata...well her body anyway"

"Um...maybe I should...who...um...who...is" stuttered "Naruto"

"Sigh, I've narrowed it down to two possibilities" replied Shikimaru "Given that whoever it is, is suffering from charka exhaustion its 70 likely to be Naruto"

"Y-you mean Naruto-kun is in-inside me?" asked Hinata.

There was a very pregnant silence, and "Naruto" turned scarlet.

"Ok...we had better move on before this gets any weirder." Ordered Shiimaru, and then they took to the trees.

* * *

Heh ok, chapter 3 should hopefully be along shortly, and if anyone wants to try and guess who is in who feel free :) 


	3. Trading Places 3: Sleeping Arrangements

Thanks for all the great reviews guys!

I'll answer some of the queries when we get a bit more into the story, some very pertinent questions asked.

* * *

Trading Places

Chapter 3:

Sleeping Arrangements.

Naruto slowly returned to consciousness.

He opened his eyes to find himself sitting astride his own back, sailing through Konohas surrounding forest.

Damn, he hated these moments of existential uncertainty.

Was he the clone or was the clone carrying him?

Was it true that his clones were duplicates of himself drawn from shadow parallel universes and someday he might draw himself as a shadow clone and destroy the known universe?

Luckily Naruto being Naruto soon abandoned this promising angst ridden thought to face into the matter at hand.

"What? Whats going on?"

"Ino" sighed heavily and turned to him "Naruto, right?"

"Who else..."

"I've had enough of that joke today" replied Ino in a rather exasperated low tone "Ok, short version, we completed our mission and got the package, but in the process our souls and bodies got shuffled around, alright? Currently you are in Hinatas body and Hinata is in yours. I've got a list of the rest on me if you want to see it. We're making our way back to Konoha at best possible speed, hopefully someone there can fix this if problem if it doesn't fix itself"

Shikimaru paused for the outburst, the tirade of abuse, the endless questioning and second guessing that went hand in hand with dealing with Naruto.

"Ok" Naruto responded

Everyone sweat dropped.

"What! That's it? OK? No endless stream of whats? No demands for me to fix this?" exclaimed Shikimaru

"Not really, we accomplished our mission, I'm really tired, and I just want to get home, get some ramen and get to sleep."

"You're not even freaked out about being a girl!"

"Not really, Hinata is really strong anyway, and I spend a fair bit of time looking like a girl anyway" Naruto answered wearily

"Naruto" coloured from the unexpected praise

"Naruto are you feeling ok?"

"I'm feeling alright, just a bit tired, like after I used all my chakra up, Hinata could you put me down, we're nearly there"

Naruto paused; he did feel a bit different, the abundant energy that kept him at his frenetic pace was gone, all he wanted to do was crawl into bed and get some sleep.

"Hai Naruto-kun" Hinata answered quietly and gently put him onto a tree branch

"Hey Shikimaru, can I see that list?"

"Sure, just don't lose it"

Mind - Body

Shikimaru - Ino

Ino - Chouji

Chouji - Shikimaru

Naruto - Hinata

Sasuke - Kiba

Sakura - Rock Lee

Kiba - Sasuke

Shino - Tenten

Hinata - Naruto

Neji - Sakura

Tenten - Shino

Rock Lee - Neji

"HAHAHAHA! Sasuke-baka is in Dogboy HAHAHAHA!"

That's more like Naruto Shikimaru thought.

"Dobe" said "Kiba"

Akamaru barked loudly.

* * *

Another twenty minutes brought the 12 genin to the very gates of Konoha. The time at this stage was roughly three in the morning.

"Ok we're too late to report to the Hokage, I don't want you guys panicing anyone and there is every chance this will fix itself, so nobody is to let anyone know what happened until after I've spoken to the Hokage. Clear?"

* * *

Shikimaru get a general mummer of assent. "Right , head out, Ino, Chouji"

Ino and Chouji had taken their respective bodie changes badly, Ino who after carefully watching her figure for four years was now in her opinion entirely the wrong weight. Funnily enough Chouji held the exact same opinion on being in Shikamarus body.

"Ok it's too troublesome to explain to our parents what went on, and none of us want them to see us like this really right? He received two dejected nods. "Ok, so we'll each head to our respective bodies homes, that way no questions will be asked."

* * *

Tenten was having different problems. For several years following a traumatic incident involving a giant hairy caterpillar and fifteen feet of rope Tenten had nursed a deep phobia of insects. This condition was being aggravated by occupying the body of Aburame Shino.

"You must stay calm," He cautioned "My bugs react to my...well your emotions, let your fear overwhelm you and the bugs will lash out."

"I'm trying...God, they are crawling inside meeeeeee!" Tenten grimaced. The bugs began to swirl aggressively.

Shino sighed "I think it'll be best if you return to my familys home, my father will be able to calm them a bit"

"Your home? You guys don't live in a giant burrow do you? I heard talk..."

"Nothing of the sort" chuckled Shino, it's more of a hive he added silently.

* * *

Sasuke turned to Kiba, "Okay, my place or yours? Because I'm not letting my body out of my sight"

"Rrrf, go home now" barked Kiba and sprinted on all fours off towards his families home.

He's even more dog like than usual in my body thought Sasuke and this body is noting compared to my own, but he smirked, no-ones are.

"After him fool!" Akamaru growled

"What the hell?"

* * *

Neji turned to Lee.

"Ok fool, that body is property of the Hyuuga clan, you will return to the clan lodgings with me"

"Roger, but how will we infiltrate your mansion?"

Neji sighed, Rocks hyper nature as always irritating him, doubly so in this body for some reason "I know a way in not covered by the Byakugan of the guards." Good thing too he thought, this body was worse than useless, it was weak and the Hyuuga despised weakness. "No-one must know" he muttered.

It didn't occur to him at this point that Hyuuga Neji apparently sneaking a young girl into his room in the dead of night would ever be seen as inappropriate.

* * *

Sakura, snuck into her room and released her Henge. That had been easy. Rocks body had both impressive physical condition and a commendable chakra reserve, pity about the hairstyle and eyebrows. She momentarily dwelt on her own bodies comparative weakness, before returning once more to her favourite subject. I hope Sasuke-kun can deal with being stuck in the fool Kiba's inferior body she drabbled. Ah well things would look better in the morning, but perhaps a shower first...

She froze.

It is worth mentioning that despite Sakuras tendency towards monomania regarding Sasuke-kun she is a very intelligent girl. Its only fair that she was among the first to realise the full extent and terror of the body changing experience, especially when that experience results in a change of gender.

* * *

Naruto sighed the others were splitting up and heading home and he felt the low he always did after the end of a mission, he also became aware of a lone presence behind him "Ano...Naruto-kun...er..." mumbled Hinata.

"Some problem Hinata?"

"Um...I...can't...um go home like...looking like..."

Of course he thought, no way would he be popular in the Hyuuga House, not her fault nobody liked him. It also wasn't her fault she had nowhere to stay tonight.

"Hey Hinata, come stay in my place for tonight, it'll be fun!"

Hinata coloured heavily, her blush highlighting the scars on the sides of Narutos face. "Umm..."

Hinata mind raced, finally some time alone with Naruto-kun...but what would father think, wait she HAD been ORDERED not to tell anyone about what went on until the morning...so...she really COULDN'T go home.

"Um..Ok"

"Great" grinned Naruto and grabbed her/his hand, "Lets go!"

* * *

Hyuuga Hisashi was keeping a late night

"Any sign of my daughter Akagi?" he growled

"No my lord"

"Useless girl, well when Hinata turns up in the morning, find her and bring her to the main house. This betrothal ceremony to that fool from the Hidden Mist is dicey as is, the plan must go off without a hitch..."


	4. Trading Places 4: The Morning After

Again thaks for all the reviews. Chapter 5 should hopefully be up in the next day or two.

Enjoy!

* * *

Naruto booted open his door and hopped inside. "Ow...sorry Hinata, I need to take better care of your body"

"Ano...its...um ok Naruto-kun"

"Naw, I need to be more careful while I'm inside you"

Hinata blushed, "N-no it's ok"

Naruto grinned, "No its not, check the cuts I got earlier"

Hinata glanced down at the scrapes Naruto had received during the earlier battle. They were completely gone, only a faint white line traced their presence

"That's...that's"

"Heh, I heal fast Hinata, one night is all I ever need to recover from anything"

Naruto began turfing weapons, scrolls and towels off his bed doing his best to hide his bunny pyjamas from Hinatas sight.

Hinata giggled, Bunny pyjamas, so cute...

"Ok, beds ready I'll sleep on the chair"

"N-no its..."

"What you think we should sleep together?"

Hinata hit beetroot red

"N-no it's just, this is your home and..."

"Nani? You're my guest; it's my fault you can't go home anyway. Don't worry in the morning we'll probably be back to normal"

Damn I hope so thought Naruto, he didn't like the thought of Hinata getting the glares he got all day.

"Naruto-kun...gomen nasai!" Hinata exclaimed.

"Huh?"

"You are being really nice and all I'm doing is imposing..."

"Look Hinata" Naruto twisted uncomfortably "I don't mind you being here...in fact, I get pretty lonely here so...anyway good night." He broke off awkwardly.

Hinata froze as Naruto turned away. He-he actually liked having her around. A feeling alien to the young Hyuuga began to blossom within her.

Hope.

And deep within her new body, inside a cage with no locks...something grinned.

**/At last...a real opportunity/**

* * *

A new day dawned in the village of Konoha.

It dawned as many other days have dawned, without particular sign or portent of all the difficulty, chaos and trouble to follow.

Three old men sat infront of three noble and established houses of Konoha.

These three old mens names had been lost to the passage of time and family. To their respective children and grandchildren they were each known only as Grandfather.

To each other they were Ino, Shiko and Cho.

As was their habit, Ino and Shiko were engaged in a game of shougi, while Cho prepared their tea and heaped criticism upon each players tactical choices.

They also waited to greet their grandchildren as they went out, to live vicariously through their descendants.

With a crack of wood the door to the Akimichi burst open and the proud young scion of their clan "Chouji" burst forth, "NNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I can't eat anything, I'm already too fat! God No!"

He sprinted down the street at a most uncharacteristic speed.

His mother bearing a bowl of rice that could have easily fed 10 hungry sumos leaned out the door looking deeply shocked.

The two gamesmen looked askance at their stout colleague.

Cho shrugged, "It sometimes takes the Akimichi clan men like that, the pressure to be in fighting condition at all times can weigh heavily on us...and girls are often cruel"

The other two, shrugged, that was an acceptable defence of some embarrassing behaviour and both acknowledged his defence of clan pride.

A howling figure sprung from the top of the Nara clan townhouse, landed in the street glanced around in terror and bolted in the same direction as the fleeing "Chouji".

"Wait up, they want to make me jog! JOG! I can't let that happen!" "Shikimaru" howled.

The Nara patriarch evenly met the gaze of his two old comrades.

"My grandson is a tactical and strategic genius already in peak physical fitness, having recently attained the rank of chunnin its clear he wants to take a break from his physical training in favour of working on his leadership and escape skills."

The other two held up a pair of metaphorical eight out of tens.

Sensing a new form of entertainment the three elders turned their chairs towards the Yamakara Flower shop.

They were not disappointed.

In a shower of glass the top window of the shop burst open and Yamakara Ino leapt to the ground, turning back towards the window he screamed in terror "I can't take a bath or change my clothes! She'll kill me if I see this body naked!"

With that "Ino" sprinted in the direction of her two departing team mates.

The other two turned to their aged comrade expectantly.

He opened his mouth hesitantly then sighed, no explanation came to mind save.

"That girl has always been odd."

The other two nodded in triumph.

And they returned to their game.

* * *

Hyuuga Neji awoke to a heavy sensation on his chest.

Odd he thought it felt as though someone was lying partly on top of him.

He opened his eyes...his green eyes and witnessed a most curious sight.

His own body was lying partially atop his...female form.

With that the crushing awareness of the previous day's activities returned like a tsunami. Neji's mental state was fragile enough at the moment without the following two occurrences.

The first (which unfortunately precipitated the second) was Rock Lee moaning "Sakura-chan" from deep in the bowels of sleep. Neji's entire body went rigid as Rock snuggled deeper into Sakura's soft form.

The second was the sudden awareness of a new presence in his mind, its shape was that of his hated new body and he recoiled in shock as he realised she was addressing him.

"What the hell do you think you are doing, cavorting with that Hyuuga jerk, what the hell happened! Why aren't you after Sasuke-kun! Have you given up you coward!"

This demon halted her assault.

"Wait...you aren't Outer Sakura, EEEEEEEKKKK! Some pervert has invaded our mind! "

Inner Sakura began hurling abuse at Hyuuga Neji, faced with mental assault on one level, molestation by his own form on the other and feeling rather alone and cast off by destiny Hyuuga Neji did the only thing that he could.

He ran from the Hyuuga house.

Like a little girl.

* * *

A Scarlet blur passed two guards of the Hyuuga estate cursing loudly.

"That's odd" one commented

"What, a half naked girl sprinting from young Neji's quarters in a serious state of emotional distress"

"No"

"The fact that she was howling at herself in two voices?"

"No"

A second white blur passed them at speed.

"The fact that Neji is actually chasing after the girl for once?"

"No"

"Then what?"

"That it was the one hopelessly obsessed with the Uchiha, rather than the bobble haired one from his team."

"Your obsession with the love lives of the genin is as always...disturbing"

With that the young heiress of the Hyuuga clan, Hyuuga Hinata sprinted past the clan estate clad in a very distinctive orange jumpsuit carrying three carrier bags loaded with copious amounts ramen, laughing at the top of her lungs.

"I take it back" said the first. "That's very odd"

"We should still grab her though"

* * *

Uzimaki Naruto was ecstatic.

He'd gotten up early to buy Hinata and himself breakfast. But instead of being treated like dirt like usual the shop keeper had bent over backwards to fill his order. He'd even given a discount to "Hinata-sama" He didn't even feel guilty, as it was both minor payback and he'd been ordered to keep the body swap a secret. Yessir this day was looking up.

"Hinata-sama, you must come with us, your father commands your presence!"

He stiffened on being addressed from behind.

Ah, the famous Uzimaki Naruto luck appeared to still be in full force.


	5. Trading Places 5: The Courtship of Hyuug...

Sorry for the delay, Gencon UK, writers block and job search have delayed this chapter badly, hope for more and better stuff in short while. Next time I hope also to cover all the great reviews I've gotten and answer some of the very clever questions I've gotten.

* * *

Uzimaki Naruto has many admirable qualities.

He is a dedicated ninja, he is a compassionate person and he has an almost unshakable amount of determination.

He also has some character flaws, among these is a tendency to "act out" under pressure and take action without considering alternatives.

In short order this is going to cause him some difficulty.

* * *

Hyuuga Hisashi nodded as "Hinata" was lead into her room. "Change her into her formal kimono and then bring her to the central court" he instructed a maid.

He turned to his younger daughter.

"Hanabi, if Hinata attempts to...resist the betrothal at all, you are to subdue her so it can be completed smoothly, it is important that this occurs without entirely without incident, the Hidden Mist are very proud of their Icthian bloodline"

Hanabi was puzzled; Hinata was far too timid to object to any of her fathers' wishes. "Father why would she..."

Hisashi handed Hanabi a photo "This is her future husband"

Hanabi went whiter than normal "Is...is...it even human?"

"Of course **he** is, he is a very advanced bloodline, with those eyes I hope for some interesting developments in the Byakugan"

And of course it neatly removes her from the path of succession he added silently.

He frowned at the rising noise from Hinatas room, it wasn't like the girl to object so loudly to being dressed by maids. He turned and strode quickly to meet his important guests.

* * *

Sasuke awoke to a strange pressure on his chest, to mounting horror he realised that someone was stting on his chest and licking his face, He lept from the bed throwing off the person who was perched on top of him "Sakura, Ino NO! For the last time, I'm an avenger, a man with a dark purpose (and fantastic hair) and I travel to that purpose alo..."

He trailed off as he realised that strangely it wasn't his fangirls that had invaded his home once more. He was in an odd house and the person on him had been...Himself?

Recollection struck him like Itachi did that day when Sasuke derided his choice of nail polish...damn he was on about Itachi again.

Focus Sasuke focus...what had happened yesterday?

Oh lord...he was in the dog boys body...and his hair was a total mess.

"Come-come Kiba, breakfast ready" Sasuke barked and then turned and bounded down towards the kitchen..

"What the hell?" exclaimed Sasuke "You're Kiba you dobe"

A small white dog wormed its way from under the covers "No you baka" it growled "I'm Kiba, that's Akamaru"

Sasuke fainted.

* * *

Tsunade sighed deeply, her enormous bosom quivered exquisitely, her twin peaks...sorry, got a bit distracted there.

She'd expected lots of things when she became Hokage, she expected hard choices, life or death battles and diplomatic crises with other villages. In many ways she was looking forward to them, they held many of the same thrills as gambling with outcomes relying on the quality of her decision rather than her own rather suspect luck.

Instead it was reports,

Reports and paperwork, how had Sarutobi and the Fourth coped?

She sighed again as Shizune launched into her list of morning meetings;

"First you have Shikimaru's report on their mission, then Hyuuga Hisashi is coming in to get you to recognise and authorise his daughters engagement, then..."

Shizune was interrupted by a slow lazy knock on the door.

Tsunade eager for any interruption exclaimed; "That must be Shikimaru, COME IN!"

"Ino" slumped into the room, clad in a chunnin vest and tossed a parcel onto the Fifth Hokages desk in a careless fashion.

"Ok, we went to the village to get the "package" but it had already been stolen by three Sound-nin. We chased them down and got the package back and returned here...can I go now?"

Tsunade and Shizune stared incredulously at "Ino"

"Ino, why are you giving the report and not Shikimaru?"

"And why are you wearing a chunnin vest?"

"Ino" groaned "Damn this is troublesome"

And he started to explain.

* * *

Naruto struggled to remain calm, he had been grabbed by two Hyuuga branch family members and dragged to the Hyuuga estate then forced into a kimono by two maids who seemed deeply perplexed by his embarrassment and him screwing his eyes shut for the duration of the disrobing. All that kept him from completely losing his temper and escaping from this ordeal was Shikimarus orders to keep this quiet until he had had a chance to talk to the Hokage. So Naruto had decided to play along, reasoning that whatever was about to happen couldn't be that bad. He was now standing in front of a fine screen door, where he had been told to wait to be admitted.

The door slid open and a small girl exited. "Its time Hinata...and I'm sorry, even if you are weak I'm not sure you deserve this." The small girl whispered softly. Naruto advanced carefully, deserve what he thought? Is Hinata in some kind of trouble?

He froze on entering the room. There were 4 "people" in it, a man he thought was Hinatas father, two blue skinned guys who looked a lot like that Atasuki Shark guy both wearing forehead protectors from the Hidden Mist and some squat fat green skinned...slug like...thing with huge black eyes and tentacles! TENTACLES! TENTACLES WITH SUCKERS!

Naruto controlled his mounting panic. He couldn't mess this up for Hinata or Shikimaru.

Hinatas father turned to him, "Ah Hinata, I'd like you to meet your new fiancé, Icythia Yoshi."

The green thing waved three tentacles.

"Hoo-hoo-hoo, hello Hinata-chan" it gurgled.

Certain parts of Narutos brain shut down in self preservation mode, he went rigid. Grimacing Hisashi got up and lead his unresponsive daughter to a cushion beside the squidboy.

"Excellent, Kurohito-san and I will step outside and discuss the final arrangements for this marriage while you too get to know each other."

Hisashi and the older blue skinned man stood and made their way outside.

Naruto was fairly deep into shock at the moment, and its possible that Hinata would have found herself married off to this hybrid if Yoshi had not taken that moment alone to do something rather foolish.

He slipped a tentacles under Hinatas kimono and burbled, "We're going to have a lot of fun Hinata-chan"

* * *

Kurohito turned to Hisashi; "I must say your daughters' grasp of decorum is impressive, most people are taken aback by Yoshis ah...unique appearance, she showed remarkable poise."

Hisashi smiled nervously "Well..."

Anything else he would have said was interrupted by a tremendous crash and high pitched squealing. They both turned towards the fine door, just in time to see Yoshis bodyguard hurtle through the screen door. Trough the hole left by his passage, they could both see "Hinata"strangling Yoshi with one of his own tentacles.

Kurohito gasped "Young master" and dashed towards the struggling couple. "Hinata" dropped her choking fiancé and seized a steaming teapot off the antique table bearing the ancestral tea set of the Hyuuga and hurls the scalding contents into the Mist shinobis face. Kurohito recoiled in agony. Before Hisashi could react a small blur shot past him heading towards her sister.

* * *

Hanabi was confident of her ability to subdue her sister, her mastery of the Hyuuga ryu was far greater than her sibling and Hinata lacked the aggression every true warrior needs to claim victory. Hanabi was prepared for almost any attack from her elder.

Now a word about Narutos school of fighting, put simply he has none. Naruto unlike nearly every other shinobi in the village has not been taught even the most basic taijitsu forms let alone anything as refined as the Hyuuga ryu. In many ways this is a disadvantage however it has made fighting Naruto a dicey proposition for many genin as he is almost totally unpredictable, other genins will rely on traditional family form or tried and trusted tactic. For Naruto everything and anything is a weapon.

With mounting panic Naruto realises a fourth opponent is now heading towards him, time to escape he thinks, apologising silently to Hinata and Shikimaru for screwing up so badly.

Hanabi was prepared for almost any assault from her rebellious sister...however any assault did not include "Hinata" seizing the antique table from the centre of the room and smashing her over the head with it. Though a skilled ninja, Hanbi is still only 8 and a table to the head will take down even the most precocious child. She hit the ground like a sack of potatoes. With that final blow struck and pausing only to kick Yoshi in a very delicate place, Hinata vaulted out of the closest window and out of view.

Kurohito struggled to his feet "Hisashi, for this insult the marriage agreement is void and I will see to it your daughter never marries outside this village...

He babbled on for several more seconds but Hisashi was no longer listening.

That was not his daughter, he was sure of it and he would discover who had just so greatly insulted and interfered with his actions and by extention those of the Hyuuga clan.

* * *

Please more reviews, I hope to cover a lot more story next time and work in some more stuff about some of the other genin.

Anyone have any requests?


	6. Trading Places 6: Fiance?

Tsunade screwed her eyes shut and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"So this sound nin scrambled Ino's jutsu and you all swapped bodies?"

"Ino" shifted uncomfortably; "Pretty much, you'd have to ask Ino for the details."

"Then you had better fetch her"

"Hai, Hokgae-sama"

"One thing first, whose body is Naruto in?"

"Ino" sighed "Hyuuga Hinata"

"Hyuu… The Hyuuga Hinata who is usually almost pathologically shy? the Hyuuga Hinata who is getting betrothed today? The Hyuuga Hinata whose father can be a stuck up violent maniac at the best of times, no detectable sense of humour and will likely not tolerate any interference in his plans for his daughter?"

"Um…yeah?"

"And in that body is Uzimaki Naruto, number one show offy, loudmouth, prankster in the village, inveterate meddler, who has notably publicly sworn to become Hokage and change the Hyuuga family, shortly before defeating their current genius."

"Yeah…"

"And you see no danger of serious conflict? Or the blame falling on you?"

Shikimaru was outraged "How can this be my fault?"

Tsunade sighed "You were the leader Shikimaru, everything is your fault,"

* * *

Hinata surveyed Narutos kitchen, the cupboards were depressingly bare and a terrible hunger gnawed at her stomach. It felt odd being so hungry, at the same time the state of Narutos home depressed her, his apartment was tiny, and his furniture seemed restricted to a single small bed, a battered couch and a rickty table and chair in his kitchen. It wasn't fair that such a good person had no…

Her train of thought was disrupted by somebody pounding up the stairs and hurling the door open.

It was her...er…Naruto!

He skidded to a halt in front of her.

"Gomen Hinata…I think I just screwed up your marriage very badly"

"Ano…Ano…"

"Your Dad was engaging you to this…well…um…thing? And he did something perverted so I kicked him and…"

"Ano…my dad did something perverted?"

Naruto flushed red (Which is very noticeable on Hyuuga Hinatas face) "Um no, your…thingy did, I didn't catch his name but he seemed to be a squid boy and…"

Hinatas eyes narrowed "An Icythian?" an unfamiliar feeling began to kindle in Hinatas heart.

"An Ickian?" queried Naruto.

"Icythians are a type of ninja from the Hidden Mist, they take on the features and abilities of fish or other sea life." Hinata replied. "And my father was trying to marry me to one?" Hinata began to feel rage gather within her. Sure she wasn't a great ninja, sure her father thought of her as a failure…but still…to marry her off, get rid of her. She fumed impotently, she couldn't go against him but…she'd like to do something.

"Gomen, sorry I think I messed it up for you, but Hinata the guy wasn't nice, he didn't deserve…um"

Hinata gave a start at Narutos last sentence, the anger that had been building in an unfamiliar hearth guttered out.

"Naruto-kun, do you, I mean, I…I think that…" Hinata might have taken that moment to reveal something deep and meaningful to the troubled lonely young boy at that moment something that might have changed the course of their lives and saved some people a lot of pain and injury later on…but for one factor.

Hyuuga Hisashi.

Who chose that moment to burst through the door of Narutos's apartment and seize "Hinata" by the kimono.

"Who are you and where is my daughter!"

And the anger that had been reduced to ash, suddenly flared up again.

"I'm right here father" Hinata replied coldly.

* * *

Haruna Sakura gazed upon the ruin of her life.

Which was currently rather than a certain raven haired brooding loner, "her" own face, specifically eyebrows and hair.

This…this just wouldn't do. The jump suit had been easily remedied but the hair was resisting all remedies, hair bands, scunchies, nothing worked.

And the eyebrows…she would never complain about her…"distinctive" forehead again, they well, well they just took the cake, two obese caterpillars squatting above her eyes, who when she frowned looked like they were mating…

This wouldn't do at all…

Luckily Haruno Sakura while currently not tearing it up in the jutsu rankings did know some masters of the less practiced ninja arts. Glancing once more at "her" reflection she knew this would end up being at least a "C" rank mission for HIM.

* * *

Tsunade sighed heavily and massaged her impressive, astounding, mountainous, heaving….err forehead (yes that will do…)

"Look, just get Ino and…"

Shikimaru started at her pause.

"Oh great" she sighed "Hyuuga Hisashi has just arrived…"

Now Shikimaru could hear the argument from downstairs.

"Best make yourself scarce while I deal with this."

Shikimaru nodded, glanced around the office, sighed heavily "How troublesome" and for what seemed like the umpteenth time today, hurled himself out the window.

Tsunade listened to Hisashi bull his way past Shizune demanding loudly to see the Hokage, while an unusually boisterous sounding Hinata continued to demand to be let go.

Tsundade, the Legendary Sannin, the Fifth Hokage, the Slug Goddess quickly formulated a master plan to diffuse the situation.

She put her head down and pretended to be asleep.

She did stiffen as Hisashi smashed her door in, a genin in each hand.

"Tsunade I would have words with you!"

Hyuuga clan head or not, he had neither the authority or personal power to address her so cavalierly. She was about to break her cunnin deception when "Hinata" guffayed. "Baka, she's sleeing off a night of booze, well just let me and Hinata go and…"

"I'll do no such thing you little beast, you are going to answer for whatever forbidden jutsu you used to disrupt my useless daughters one chance at a suitable marriage"

Tsunade mentally frowned at that one, Hinata might lack some aggression but she was hardly useless.

"When this fool awakes, she will help decide your and Hinatas punishment"

FOOL! Growled Tsunade, well she'd see about fool.

"What did Hinata do?" and irate Naruto cried.

"Well, she either cooperated in this jutsu and is thus culpable in this or she was so weak that she couldn't stop you from doing this. The latter seems more likely but either way I no longer have anyone to marry her to and that must be answered for."

Inisde Naruto's body Hinatas anger began to bubble over, her fathers constant taunts were bad enough, but in front of her Naruto-kun, calling her weak, using her as a tool, Naruto would think her weak…that she couldn't forgive anyone for.One chance is all she wanted, one chance to tweak her fathers nose.

Her train of thought was interrupted by Naruto spluttering in indignation.

"She's not useless, she had nothing to do with this situation and…and if you need someone to marry her well…well I'll fix that too."

Several things of note then happened.

A warm feeling suffused Hyuuga Hinata's chest, at last he did notice her on some level, and he didn't think she was weak and..and.

Hyuuga Hisashi did a very rare thing, he actually chuckled "What can you do about it? Marry her" He guffawed cruelly "Uzimaki Naruto, married to my daughter" he shook with laughter at the very idea.

And Tsundae grinned and thought "Bingo"

Immediately Tsunade stretched languorously and made a show of waking up. "Ah Hisashi-san I see you are here about your lovely daughter Hinata's betrothal."

Before Hisashi could correct her she forged ahead "And I see you've even brought the groom, very well, Uzimaki Naruto" she said she said addressing the body of Naruto "Do you accept this proposal?" She winked at an angle so that only Hinata could see the quick eye blink.

Hinata froze for half a second, this accomplished so many things, it got her father back and it brought her and Naruto-kun well, she couldn't think about that, all she

could do was stammer:

"Y-y-yes"

"Well then" Tsunade smiled malevolently "Its all official and binding"

* * *

Sorry for the horrific delay, life kicked my ass for a while but the next few should hopefully be along sooner, and that's a promise on my Ninja Way! 


	7. Trading Places 7: Complications and Inte...

Hyuuga Hisashis eyes bulged obscenely.

"Hyuuga Hinatas" jaw dropped.

"Uzimkai Naruto" blushed notably.

And the 5th Hokage grinned in triumph.

"Wha, what the hell does betrothal mean and how can I accept it if I don't say anything oba-chan?" "Hinata" blurted.

"Naruto" blushed deeper.

"I mean what the hell just happened" Naruto looked wildly around at the people around him, something had happened but he'd missed most of it all he knew was it was serious and nothing would stop him until he got to the bottom of it.

"Naruto, hear's some money go take Hinata and get her some ramen, she…erm…you look starved" Tsunade chuckled as she tossed a small coin purse to the young genin.

Detective work was immediately banished from Narutos mind as the promise of his favourite kind of ramen appeared, free ramen.

"Yah, Hinata, RAMEN! Lets go" seizing his own body by the hand Naruto dragged an unresisting Hinata from the Hokages office.

Leaving the clan head and the Hokage alone.

Hisashis jaw tightened.

"You think you've won and this is over? The clan can overturn this with a unanimous decision and more to the point what was the point of that? You clearly know more about the situation than me so ignorance can't explain your actions WHAT WAS THE POINT?" Hiashi finished with a roar.

Tsunade raised one eyebrow.

"The point was in part due to your lack of respect for me, and as a further warning raise your voice to me again and the illustrious Hyuuga clan will spend the next few days fishing pieces of you out of the surrounding trees to fill a respectable coffin. You are a strong clan head and powerful ninja but I am a Sennin, were I Jiraiya you would already be food for his toads and I know Orochimaru always makes it a point to outdo the Hermit."

She paused for a moment to see if Hisashi was suitably chastised, if not that he seemed to have regained control of his emotions.

"As to the point, call it the "foolish" whim of an old lady and that is all it is at the moment, a whim. However tread lightly, or it will become an interest of mine and then a goal and then up to the point of assigning missions to see that this engagement succeeds. So consider that when next you flaunt my authority."

Hisashi grimaced "Well Hokage, if that is all, I will return to my estate and make certain I have not "Flaunted your will" in thought or deed" he turned to go.

"Hisashi, this shouldn't be about winning or losing she's your daughter and he's a good boy, for the love of the village, he was your wife's team-mate and your best friends so…"

Hisashi rounded on Tsunade, his face distorted in rage.

"She'd not my daughter, she's a FAILURE and a disgrace to her mother and that THING isn't his son, it's just something that wears him as a skin!" with that he stalked out.

Tsunade hung her head in sorrow, God he still blamed them both.

* * *

Sakura stood meekly outside the office of the only person in Konoha who could help her.

A nervous young genin exited the office eyes fixed upon her hair in stark terror.

"The sensei will see you now"

* * *

Aburame Shino sat otside his familys hive and waited.

He was scared, strike that he was terrified an unusual sensation for the usually aloof and controlled genin. He felt like a newly blinded person, bereft of his beloved insects and all the sensory input they provided him he felt lost and alone, here in the Aburame stronghold.

His ears detected an approaching person and his eyes confirmed it was his father. He laughed bitterly to himself, when was the last time he'd had to rely on those senses, with his bugs he could detect even his father from a hundred metres in any condtion.

"How is…she" he asked.

His father sat down beside him "Fine now, we sedated her and installed a trainer queen, it will handle the running of the hive until you return to your body."

"And if I don't?"

"We'll face that if it comes to you son no matter what you are Aburame Shino our clans prodigy you will always have a place here."

He again regarded his sons' current form.

"And at worst your physiology is now female, in this form you can become a mighty queen and birth many strong broods"

Shino brightened noticeably.

"That is a comforting thought! To breed my own bugs to my own designs. I hope Tenten would understand"

His father smiled "She would have to; she could not leave our clan with THAT body"

"What about her paralysing irrational fear of insects?"

"Ah she'll learn to live with that."

"…Father isn't the point of an irrational fear is you don't just get over it?"

"You worry too much my son."

* * *

Sakura approached the great mans'desk with hesitation.

"Great master, I know this form is unfamiliar but I beg of you, this…this hair requires a service only you can supply, it needs the SASUKE!"

"Fu fu fu!" The chair whirled slowly to reveal Konoha's Master of the Linked Scissors, The Coiffured Whirl, the Ninja Hairstylist; Hoshi Masote.

Barely under six foot, in his late 20s but possessed of style and verve that only Sasuke-kun could he sat straighter in his seat and let loose his infamous grin that had troubled a hundred kunoichi.

"The student of my greatest enemy arrives, with the greatest challenge possible. To tame and shape the hair of THAT bloodline, the bloodline that resists and endangers Konoha at every turn. What can I do but accept"

He stood failing to note and odd creaking noise from behind him as if someone had just opened the window to his office.

"We shall begin at once, this will require my every ounce of ability but I assure you" He paused for a moment his beautiful face distorting in puzzlement.

"Did someone just open that…"

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!"

With that the Blue Beast of Konoha, Maito Gai, launched himself into the room and blasted Hoshi Masote through a bookcase.

"LEEEEEEE!!! How can you endanger your training and unique look and power with this preening fools ways. I can only assume this is the influence of that lavender tressed minx. Well I the great Maito Gai know the cure for lovesickness, the extreme training that will unlock your hidden Power of Youth and for which you need every inch of your hair, come now!"

With that Gai bundled a Sakura in deep and total shock under his arm and leaped out of the open window.

Hoshi Masote dragged himself from under the bookcase he had been unceremoniously driven into.

"Maito Gai, my great rival, your insanity has endangered this village for the last time."

* * *

Ino twisted uncomfortably in her seat. This body was so-so slow and bulky, she thought everyone was staring at her andworse yet it was STILL hungry, after a half a salad AND two grapefruit. However her attention snapped back as the Hokage addressed her again.

"So how long do you think this jutsu could last?" Tsunade asked in an urgent tone.

"Well" Ino hesitated "If it had been just my charka to power it, a day or less, but I think that Sound Nin's charka got caught up aswell and he was a chunin so…maybe three, four days?" She finished quietly.

Tsunade relaxed, this wouldn't be so bad the situation would resolve itself and she'd have her twelve genin back in action and ready for the C rank missions that were piling up in no time.

"Except wait, Naruto's charka got caught up in it aswell and he's a bit of a stamina freak so that might add another few days…I guess"

Tsunade had stiffened.

"Ino…to make this jutsu permanent what would you have to do?"

Ino laughed nervously "There are seals, but I hadn't used any of them but with just the jutsu? On twelve people? Hokage-sama you'd need more charka than a Hokage, maybe three Hokages charka. No human has that much power."

Exactly thought Tsundae, no human.

She forced herself to smile.

"You can go Cho…er Ino"

"Thank you Tsunade-sama and…how…how fat do I look?"

"Oh not too bad at all dear, the stripes help a lot" Tsunade lied smoothly.

As soon as Ino had left she whirled on Shizune causing her to jump.

"Find Jiraiya, tell him what has happened and bring him here as fast as possible!"

"But he said he was going on a research trip, you know how hard it is to get him to leave."

Tsundae smiled humourlessly "Trust me it will be no trouble, His favourite student in the body of a girl? Eleven other genin in similarly exchanged bodies? Forbidden engagements? Love? Lust? A situation that seems hopeless. You'd have to beat the old Hermit away with a stick, there is enough material for a whole series here."

* * *

Ok a bit quicker this time, thanks to the reviews for motivating me to get off my ass and get some more of this story down so let this be a little Christmas Present to you all.

With a bit of luck I'll get another in before the new year.

I'd also like to ask a quick question, would you like to see the genins in their swapped forms attempt a "C" rank mission each?

And if so should they be in their original teams or modified one?


	8. Trading Places 8: Bloodstock, Introspect...

From the files of the Fifth Hokage.

Quick Body Status recap:

Mind : Body

Uzimaki Naruto : Hyuuga Hinata

Hyuuga Hinata : Uzimaki Naruto

Nara Shikimaru : Yamakara Ino

Yamakara Ino : Akimachi Chouji

Akimachi Chouji : Nara Shikimaru

Uchiha Sasuke : Inazuka Kiba

Inazuka Kiba : Akamaru

Akamaru : Uchiha Sasuke

Aburame Shino : TenTen

TenTen : Aburame Shino

Haruno Sakura : Rock Lee

Rock Lee : Hyuuga Neji

Hyuuga Neji : Haruno Sakura

* * *

Hyuuga Winto scowled at the pile of documents at front of him. Each one contained a mess of mathematical calculations, medical diagrams and projections. A more learned eye would discern quickly that these were medical predictions of some sort. Tsunade or Shizune or another expert medical nin would venture the opinion after some study that these were projections of likely results of breeding two ninja, in this case the breeding of two ninja both with Advanced Bloodlines. The two ninja in question were Icthia Yoshi and Hyuuga Hinata.

The tall but broad ninja scowled and ran his hands through his long black hair; unlike most Hyuuga his was perpetually untidy.

A twelve percent increase in the range of the Byuakugan he thought, that's it, at the cost of the offspring needing regular immersion in water and webbed feet.

He stood angrily and gazed at the picture of his great grandfather.

Hyuuga Hakubo, no there was a Hyuuga designger, the man who bred the Sharingan, and refined the Byakugan like no other and now all his descendants did was scrape for miniscule improvements. Winto began to move towards the main entrance of the house, they used to design GODS!, shinobi that other villages cowered in terror of, now all they did was breed copies. He almost failed to register the entry of a visibly enraged Hyuuga Hisashi.

"Winto."

"Hiashi-sama, did the betrothal go smoothly"

Hisashi frowned "You didn't hear the disturbance earlier?"

Winto mirrored his superiors expression "I'm afraid not, I was consumed by late preparations for the offsprings modification."

"I'm afraid all your hard work will have been for nothing, my daughter will not be marrying the mist nin"

Winto gasped "But…all my work…" he trailed off "Well, to look on the bright side perhaps we can select another bloodline to crossbreed with."

"I'm afraid that the Hokage has seen fit to prevent even that for the moment, she's arranged an…alternate partner" Hisashi laughed bitterly.

Winto felt rage blossom inside him "Who is she to presume to guide the Hyuuga Blooodline?"

"Don't worry, we'll assemble the council and see what can be done about resolving this matter"

Winto shook his head angrily, who was she to…

Hiashi turned to leave, "By the way Hisashi-sama, who did the Hokage betroth Hinata-sama to?"

Hisashi stopped "Why the demon of course, Uzimaki Naruto!" he spat venomously.

Winto stood alone for several minutes his thoughts racing, then exited the house and began to move towards the Konoha Medical Library, his rushed footfalls betraying his excitement.

* * *

Sasuke strode irritably from the large Inazuka home following his own body. His grimace deepened as he watched his body, the form worshipped by a significant proportion of the female population of Konoha (not that he cared about such things…at all.) charge four legged through a series of bushes chasing a butterfly. His lips thinned further. (a facial expression he had Naruto to thank for, for perfecting it, the dobe gave him a never ending series of excuses to perform it) That he was stuck in this flea bitten excuse for a form, while a literal dog occupied his body. He was beginning to see why certain people wanted to get inside his body, he certainly wanted to!

"HEY! Don't leave me behind idiot" Kiba barked

Sasuke launched into his infamous exasperated grunt at this point. (he had Sakura to thank for that one). Making matters worse, he had the dogs mutt master following him around and because he was in Kibas body he could understand his barks, worse yet Kiba reminded him all too much of another loud show off.

"Then keep up dobe"

The small dog glared at Sasuke doing its level best to look angry and intimidating…well it succeeded at angry, there is a definite maximum intimidation value on an eight inch tall puppy with white fur.

"Where the hell are you going, you barely had any breakfast! My body needs a full breakfast to keep my hair shiny and bones strong!"

Sasuke glowered at the tiny canine berating him.

"I'm going to train."

"And what the hell is the point of that" Kiba yipped

"I must constantly train! Or I won't be ale to kill…THAT man" Sasuke turned and tried to look moodily into the sunset.

The fact that it was 9.47 in the morning more or less shot this in the foot.

"Yeah but…if you go train, you'll just end up training my body and that won't help you at all."

Sasuke froze the dog boy was right!

"So what do you do when you don't train?"

Sasuke grunted "I eat…or sleep"

Kiba cocked his head at Sasuke "And when you aren't eating or sleeping"

"Nothing else of note"

"That's it! Jeez you are the pathetic loner of your team, and given you are up against the number one outcast loser and the number one obsessive fangirl that's impressive in a truly tragic sort of way."

Sasuke eyed Kiba coolly "I also wash myself…especially my hair, this is training I won't put off till I return to my body"

Akamaru's fur turned whiter

"H-H-Hey, too many baths are bad for you!"

* * *

Hyuuga Hinata allowed herself to be dragged through the streets of Konoha by her own body, by her fia…her fian…

Even inside her own head she couldn't force the words out, her embarrassment and fear were too all consuming, how-how did he feel about what she had done, how she had forced him into this arrangement with a strange dark weirdo he didn't even know…and while she was still in his body. Hinatas' mind was threatening to shut down from the emotional overload. If she could only find an opening, something to say to him, he was her precious person surely she could…

"At last!" Naruto yelled and screeched to a halt outside the ramen stand.

"Hey old man, ramen for me and Hinata!"

The proprietor turned slowly "Sorry miss?" he blinked as he saw his best customer cringing behind the Hyuuga heiress who was boldly demanding service.

"Hey Naruto. Don't be embarrassed, two ramen coming right up!"

"Why would I be embarrassed? Now make it snappy I have plenty of money today!" proclaimed "Hinata" loudly slamming the Hokages cash down on the counter.

"U-um N-naruto-kun, you're…you're still in my b-body" stuttered Hinata

"Oh yeah" exclaimed Naruto "Um, Hinata how should I act as you? If we don't want people to know?"

Hinata was shocked, she couldn't imagine Naruto acting like her.

"I-I don't mind how you act um, we should…we should just be c-careful"

Naruto grinned widely, "Sure Hinata"

Hinata fiddled with her fingers…if only there was some opportunity to talk frankly with him, to get more comfortable around him so they could talk frankly.

Naruto swivelled in his seat "Why is Shikimaru crying outside the BBQ?" he squinted "All you can eat one day special eh? Hmm he better go tell Chouji…ah Excellent"

Naruto turned and grinned widely at the two bowls in front of them and grabbed one and began tearing into it. Hinata followed suit partly to have something to do with her hands other than twiddle her thumbs and partly because she just realised how hungry she actually was.

Naruto pushed aside the empty bowl, odd that had filled him up, normally it took him at least 3 before he felt at all sated. At that point an idea struck him and he turned to Hinata.

Hinata for her part was dividing her time between grabbing the last bit of noodle from her bowl and trying desperately to think of some activity she could do with her…her…well while they had this time together.

"Hinata!" She dropped her hardwon noodles on the ground.

"Y-y-yes?"

"Lets got train! You can show me how to do the bug eye thing!"

"T-the what?"

"The Bug eye thing, you know Kakashi told me about it!"

"The Byakugan?"

"Yeah that's it, and in return" He flashed his famous grin in an unfamiliar face "I'll show you how to do the Kage Bunshin"

* * *

Winto put down the scroll slowly, interesting he thought, very interesting. The scroll was titled "An investigation of the effects of inhabitation by extra dimensional enitys on human genetuc material". He made a note in his own scroll; Traits the host developed WILL therefore be passed down to offspring!

He picked up two other documents, "Identifiable abilitys of the Kyubi" by the 3rd Hokage and a medical file...the file of Uzimaki Naruto.

He smiled broadly and murmerd to himself "Gods, great grandfather, now I can surpass you!"

* * *

Mediocre chapter this time, just setting some stuff up. Next up: 

Gai and Sakura! Forbidden Hair Jutsus!

Neji and Rock! Who's that couple?

Chouji versus a Full Stomach!

And the return of Jirayia! A Perverts Ultimate Fantasy!


	9. Trading Places 9: Damage Reports

Akimichi Chouji stared at the sign which taunted him, fists clenched in fury.

"All you can eat BBQ. One day super special"

The irony, the bitter irony, it was almost too much for him to take. He the Akimichi clans prodigy, Iron Gut Chouji, He of the Hollow Leg at the cusp of an opportunity undreamt of; a never ending meal, only to have circumstance deny him by placing him in the body of his comrade Shikamaru, whose puny belly could barely accommodate a double serving of porridge this morning and was in fact still full. In contrast to his usually mighty post meal contortions Chouji could feel his new stomach contorting weakly under even this minor strain. He shook his head sadly, his friend truly was badly out of shape.

As he surveyed his favourite shop the proprietor stepped out with a large grin on his face.

"Ah my young friend, care to take advantage of our offer?"

"My…stomach…Akimichi…proud" Chouji choked out.

"Your friend, the tubby one? Well he's the reason for this little offer, I heard through the grape vine that he's unable to eat properly today so I can afford to have this little special offer, otherwise he'd eat me out of business." The man chuckled failing to notice the towering rage building in the slight frame of Nara Shikamaru.

"But don't tell him that, the little fatso would blow his gasket."

The little fatso blew his gasket.

* * *

"Now my proud student it has come time for you to be instructed in the secrets of Follicle Chakra enhancement, channelling and storing Chakra in your unique hair so mysteriously like my own, thick black and silky hair, the proud bloodline of the Maito family. You Rock Lee will now be trained in the ultimate Afro no Jutsu!" Gai finished triumphantly.

Sakura stared at Gai incredulously.

"Ka-kakashi told me you were insane…he didn't tell me you were bat crap crazy."

Gai backhanded Sakura across the park.

"My impetuous adorable student such disrespect and listening to my arch rival all in a single statement. For this I will deal with you most severely."

Sakura got slowly to "her" feet.

"I'm not Lee! You crazy jounin I'm Sakura in Lees body, so STOP GRABBIBG AND HITTING ME YOU GREEN SPANDEX CLAD MANIAC, HOW YOU'VE EVER BEATEN KAKASHI AT ANYTHING IS A MYSTERY ON PAR WITH HOW SASUKE-KUN MAKES HIS HAIR LOOK SO DREAMY!"

Gai paused "Wait…then where is Lee-kun?"

* * *

Hyuuga Neji ran blindly in no direction in particular, used to the hyper acute vision granted by his precious advanced bloodline limit the Hyuuga genius was finding it almost impossible to keep up the pace needed to keep ahead of the fool following him. Not helping matters was the pathetic condition of the body he was in or the demon screaming in his head.

Inner Sakura chose that moment to scream "YOU WHITE EYED PERVERT FREAK, DUCK! "

That gave just enough time for Neji to wonder what in the name of the Hokages was a Pervert Freak Duck when the workman he'd failed to notice turned around with the ladder he'd just shouldered in hand and cracked him in his current extraordinarily large and cromulant forehead. He had but a moment to wonder if cromulant was a real word before he hit the ground on the flat of his back. He was contemplating both this and the humiliating fact that he the great Hyuuga Neji was so humiliated so, by all things something he hadn't seen. As he tried to block out the howling of Inner Sakura about his foolishness and the insult to her forehead he thought that nothing can possibly make this day worse.

Of course he had failed to consider Rock Lee.

"Sakura-san! You have injured yourself, please be careful!"

Neji powered to his feet propelled by blind rage "You moron, for the last time, I'm Neji, Hyuuga Neji, your teammate, your superior, I'm not your daft crush I'M A MAN TRAPPED IN A WOMAN'S BODY!"

A desperate silence followed this statement, a silence that filled the large market Neji realised he now stood in.

The silence was pregnant in the extreme as every ear within what seemed like ten miles strained to catch the next snatch of conversation. Clearly even to Nejis somewhat socially limited mind, the best thing to greet this expectant silence was yet more silence.

Of course Rock Lee had a slightly different opinion.

"My comrade! I will stand through you and support you in your quest to obtain your true form with all my love and affection even though you stand in the body of my love! With the Burning Fire of Youth!"

Rock launched into a Nice Guy Pose!

Inner Sakura began to sob at the humiliation!

And Hyuuga Neji continued to go mad.

With that the murmurs began…and spread.

* * *

Shizune approached the pool cautiously. She was not interested in the contents of the pool though her prey no doubt did. Fifteen bikini models were sunning themselves within the privacy off the small lagoon. She couldn't spot Jiraya at all, the perverts long experience of peeping had made him an expert in camouflage and surveillance. Therefore she would have to flush him out. "If you don't come out" she hissed "I'll scream pervert and they'll all run, and just as they are preparing to get tanned all over, and you know what I mean" She observed as some of the girls began to untie their bikinis.

From behind her she suddenly sensed movement.

"Say your piece" whispered Jiraya from just behind her ear.

* * *

Shino and Tenten walked into Konoha in opposite bodies.

"How do you feel now?" enquired Shino.

"Calm oddly enough, I feel muted somehow…odd" remarked Tenten.

"That is well" Shino was at a loss what to say next, his own experience with human females was limited to Hinata and she was…most retiring compared to Tenten and given to squeaking.

"How do you feel about…my allies?"

"Better" Tenten smiled "I'm getting used to the idea and its freaking me out far less"

Hmmm the sedative secreting bugs were clearly working well.

"Have you ever considered incubating bugs and allowing them to uptake your genetic material? Because that option is certainly open to you now."

Tenten stopped in her tracks. "Okkkkkkayyyy, I'm no longer calm."

Ahh thought Shino, there were indeed limits to the sedative bugs abilities.

* * *

Jiraya stood up in a flash.

"You are saying my favoured student is in a girls body, A girl the Hokage has arranged a marriage between him and her against the wishes off her powerful clan, eleven other genin are in similar straits AND YOU HAVE LEFT UNTIL NOW TO TELL ME ALL THIS!"

Shizune cringed "I couldn't have gotten here much faster."

"You could have been here at least 2 hours earlier! Can you at least tell me you've had chunnin carefully documenting EVERTHING they've been going through.

"Umm…not so much"

"How can she expect me to write like this? Without proper research and background how can I be expected to give the most lovingly crafted and full story?"

"Umm, I think she's hoping you'll find a way to reverse the jutsu."

"Now why would I do a damn fool thing like that?" exclaimed Jiraya "Lets go we've no time to lose."

"Alas fair ladies, I will only have my photos to remember you by" he sighed.

* * *

Tsunade slammed her desk hard enough to splinter the wood and crack the stone flagstones of her office.

"So, you're telling me that I've got reports of the last of the Uchiha's having a naked brawl outside a public bath with a member of the Inuzuka clan, 300 shadow clones have disrupted the entirety of the eastern training area, Genin are demanding sex changes in the streets, Two genin have held a impromptu demolition derby in a flower shop, I've got reports from our hairdresser that one of our senior hounins is trying to develop a forbidden jutsu of some sort with one of his students and Chunnin Nara Shikamaru has demolished a BBQ place and three adjoining business's in the restaurant district."

Genma flinched "Yes Hokage-sama"

"Get them, get them here now and while your at it get their instructors and my old pervert of a teammate."

"Hai"

"And a large bottle of sake!"

* * *

Apologies for the large gap between updates, life has been troublesome hopefully the next one won't beso late.

Does anyone know the seals for Kage Bunshin no Jutsu and for activating thr Byakugan?


	10. Trading Places 10: Days End

One hour ago…

Hinata blushed again as she watched her own face screw up in puzzlement.

"Damn, I still havn't got it"

"Na-na-naruto-kun the Byakugan is hard to master, it can take you years to learn to unlock it."

She blushed again as she watched her own face break out into a cocky grin "Whatever my body I'm Uzimaki Naruto, and I'll master this in under a week!" Naruto exclaimed. "How is the Kage Bunshin coming?"

"Um…well…"

Truthfully Hinata was scared, the Kage Bunshin was a jounin level jutsu, one she felt was far above her current level. In addition the charka she now wielded was…odd. She had always been proud of her precise charka control, when she wasn't under pressure of feeling nervous her control was exemplary, among the best in the Hyuuga…but because of the way they made her feel none of them knew this. However even when upset her charka always responded eagerly and quickly to her mental commands. Not so in this body, the charka seemed almost…surly, aggressive unwilling to follow instruction almost which defied all logic, charka was energy generated by a ninjas body, it couldn't be rebellious!

But so it seemed to be.

But with under Narutos open regard she ad to at least try to perform the jutsu.

Her hands flickered as she formed the requisite seals.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" she exclaimed.

The charka which had previously been so temperamental and unruly snapped into place, seemingly almost willig and eager to twist into this form. An amount of charka that dwarfed any she had ever felt flowed through her forming into clones…lots of clones…hundreds of clones…

And of course being surrounded by hundreds of clones of Uzimaki Naruto could have only one effect on Hyuuga Hinata…she freaked.

And 300 versions of her fled in all directions.

* * *

"And make sure to get that arrangement ready for the Hiruma family Ino." Inos' mother finished with a smile.

Shikamaru forced himself to return the smile, once she had left he sighed heavily. "Troublesome, very troublesome to have to do Inos' work" Bur he mused in her current state she was looking for any outlet for all her misplaced rage at her sudden body swap, the fact that her own jutsu had led to this situation was probably playing heavily on her mind as well. He swivelled to grab an assortment of flowers and winced, how in the name of the Hokages did she move around I this get up, it was far too tight and restrictive…especially around the chest…and she had something on under her top which had managed to get itself caught in her shirt which was intensely uncomfortable, he swore under his breath and began to remove her top, focused on resolving the painful issue.

Ino entered the shop just as he fully opened the top and released the bra's snag. "Ah that's amazing" he exclaimed.

He then noticed the large frame of Akimichi Chouji quaking with rage.

"SHIKAMARU, YOU PERVERT!"

"This…this isn't"

As Ino hurled herself at him and ploughed them both into the main flower display of the shop Shikamaru gloomily thought that he was going to end up paying all the damages for this.

* * *

The Konoha public baths were an important facility in the village, with the high stress

Lives ninjas led it was imperative to have a peaceful place to unwind, an island of calm in the ocean of violence that all ninja dwell within. Which is why it was so upsetting when two young naked genin barrelled through the baths at a rate of knots fighting like cats and dogs….well certainly one of them was fighting like a dog. Given also one of the combatants was the resplendent Uchiha Sasuke (though he was growling slightly more than usual) the outrage and anger came mainly from the male section of the baths, the kunoichi were too busy paying rapt attention, though they did intervene when the most uncouth Inuzuka boy forced the Tragic Uchiha Prodigy under the water and held him there. The common theory among the younger women was that Sasuke had spurned the love of the Inuzuka who he had attempted to drown him in his rage and grief. Men who pondered about what was his motive in first coating the Uchiha in shampoo and soap before hurling him into the water were firmly silenced.

* * *

The Office of the Hokage:

Now.

Tsunade surveyed the genin dejectedly. Instead of their usual upbeat and energetic manner they all looked downbeat and chastened. From a certain point of view this was correct, in total the damage from this mornings activities amounted to a considerable sum both in monetary terms and village harmony. On the plus sides the village gossips had never been happier.

Several of the young group of ninja also looked most dishevelled and dirty…particularly the ones who had had a change of gender forced upon them…She realised the full extent of this almost immediately…they would all have been too embarrassed to clean themselves…probably too embarrassed to even go to the toilet…

She slammed her desk to seize their attention.

"Right, I see many of you are embarrassed by your current bodies and are avoiding both bath and lavatory I understand your confusion and difficulty it is a complex problem" She exclaimed "Well that ends now, I have conferred with all the majour experts n the village and the best course of action to follow is that I will instruct you all in a medical jutsu you can use to remove pollutants from your body and also remove the first few layers of skin in effect washing and relieving yourself without the need to…

"Hey Tsunade-baba can I go to the toilet " whined the physical form of Hyuuga Hinata.

"Sure Naruto, now as I was saying this jutsu is both complex and taxing, it will not be easy to."

At that point Naruto reached the toilet door. "Henge no Jutsu" With a puff of smoke the form of Hyuuga Hinata was replaced with the form of Uzimaki Naruto, who sauntered into the chamber and noisily relieved himself.

While standing up.

There was a significant silence in the Hokages office as everyone's mind raced to find the explanation that both condemned everyone else for being a fool for not using a basic academy jutsu to solve their difficulty while AT THE SAME TIME explain why it was both impossible and unreasonable to expect them to come up with that same solution. Those who were currently very badly in need of a toilet break immediately gave up in favour of Hengeing to relieve themselves in a dignified manner.

"Wait!" Tsunade roared over the fight breaking out over the toilet, "While this solution works in the short term long term maintenance of a Henge is both difficult and dangerous, none of you will maintain one for more than a few minutes"

She waited for everyone to finish and both resume their original forms and refocus their attentions on her.

"Also I am sorry about this but tomorrow you will all have to return for your new temporary team assignments and C rank missions "

* * *

While all this played out, deep within the body of Uzumaki Naruto, the greatest of the Tailed Demons stirred restlessly and cursed the Fourth, even with the departure of Narutos soul the seal while now holed still contained and bound the Kyuubi, he could not leave this cursed mortal form. However he could more readily read and communicate with the soul that now inhabited the prison of flesh he resided in.

He carefully reviewed the young Heiress mind and smiled.

He could offer Naruto only power there was nothing else the Kyuubi possessed that he would desire , and the young boy was not fool enough to take that bargain save on his own terms.

But the girl while no less strong willed, did burn for something he did possess, would give ANYTHING for it.

Kyuubi chuckled, now all he need do was wait for an opportunity to converse more…properly with his new landlord and see what changes could be made to the lease.

* * *

Next:

Mission Incompetent!

Jiraya's Observation!

Winto's Conclusion!

And Sasuke versus Naruto as you've never seen it before!


End file.
